The Prison of Silence & The Key To Freedom

I have a riddle for you:

What’s just as deadly as a sniper & more deadly than a bomb?

Give up?... ok. The answer is: The sudden and sustained silence of a man who once loved his voice!

It’s a scary truth. A daunting reality. One that spawns questions like: “how can something be so loud and still go un-noticed or addressed?” “How do the echos of frustration travel so far without turning any heads?”

A man who finds himself living out these realities may even ask, “How come no one cares about my silence?” “Why does no one ask about the thief the stole my voices or inquiry about why I chose to sell it in the first place?”

For a lot of men today, their silence isn’t always stolen, sometimes it’s auctioned off to the highest bidder. Historically pain, frustration and disappointment have often been the 3 who has paid the best dividends for a man’s silence. And in exchange for his voice, each one offers an enchanting oasis of hopelessness. That’s right… hopelessness. i’m sure that seems like an unlikely prize, but to the man who has been visited by disappointment more times than he can remember, hopelessness is a dream! Why? Because… for a lot of men, when hope is removed from a situation, it also removes the opportunity for disappointment to be present.

Why so much investment to keep disappointment away?

Because disappointment has a tendency to remind you of a failed experience. A mountain top unreached. A goal that has once again fallen short. It recirculates the stench of past

defeats. For some men, nothing positive ever accompanies disappointment & in the eyes of that man… the only sensible thing to do is to surrender yourself to the authority of silence.

In the solitary confinement of quiet…He is both prisoner and guard. The one thing that man has is… control. He gets control of what brings him happiness, when that happiness arrives, how long it’s staying and when it leaves. He enjoys the conjugal visits of money making, sex, achievements, etc. Unfortunately these pseudo pleasures keep him imprisoned longer & if too long… it can be permanently because they provide just enough comfort and space to escape the realities of the darkness of silence. Remember, he is both prisoner and guard, so he gets to let himself out right before the pressures of solitude force him to face himself, his perspectives & his efforts… to be free. Free to fight against hopelessness and fight for hope. Free to fight for his voice again.

A fight that seems all but impossible to overcome. For some men it very well may be, but for many, if they have the right keys they can win this battle. Overcoming such a tumultuous battle requires the  killing of the seed that grows the root of despair and yields the fruit of hopelessness long before they ever develop.

The question that remains is, “Okay… how do you do that?” I’m so glad you asked.

Well one of the ways is through the power of community.

Having other people around you that are aware and can pick up on the deafening screams of silence. People who check in with genuine care, sympathy and empathy. Asking questions without judgement. Holding space that is safe enough for the man to be hurt and strong enough for the man to heal. A space where honesty, openness, vulnerability & understanding are present, while being defensive and angry are absent.

Having people who partner their query with resource and direction toward solutions are also quintessential in this process. It’s true that some men just want and need to be heard. But there are others who need to be heard and to be helped. Without this type of community men may find themselves in the confines of isolation and holiness. Being present in the body but absent in the heart and soul. Losing their ability to communicate their needs and wants. Perpetuating self-imposed punishments and continuing the legacy of destruction that has tethered itself to generations of men who never found their way to freedom.

If you are in need of community or want to extend yourself as a branch to our community go to our website: https://www.rebrandtheman.org/contact and let’s expand our community… together.